Have you ever just stood in front of a mirror, looked yourself dead in the eyes, and told yourself you were starting over with everything?
I had been a person that I didn't feel comfortable with. It wasn't that I was making bad choices. To be honest, I've made really good choices throughout my life. I just haven't been me. I don't like what I have been looking at in the mirror lately.
I've been looking at someone who is very prim and proper, with perfect grammar and etiquette, who is really fake. I never wear t-shirts unless I'm sick, I always have on nice outfits, and my hair in makeup both need to be how I want it, or I won't leave the house. But that's not who I really am.
Sometimes, I feel that the only way I can get the confidence I want is to wear the nice clothes and look nice. I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but having on an outfit that will get me complimented helps me ignore that for a while. I am overly nice to everyone to make sure I have people on my side, not making fun of me behind my back. Every part of me is the way it is because I am terrified of what people will say about me if I'm not "perfect."
But, I don't think that's what God wants from me. He made me the way He did for a reason. I still have so much to learn about myself to make that adjustment, but I think God has a greater plan for me than fitting in to what society wants...
