I don't know why, but it seems as though I am haunted by a curse. As though I'm the one girl in the world who will never hear the words "I love you" other than from her friends and family.
I have a tendency to fall fast for a guy. Because when I am in a relationship, I'm fully invested. Which is why I don't need to call her boyfriend every day, or even every other day. I figure if he's even close to being as invested in me as I am in him, I don't need to check up on him. Because although we may not talk every second of every day, we still encompass every second of the other's life through their heart. And when they encompass my life and my heart, they've got me wrapped around their finger.
Then, it gets to the point where I lose touch with what I truly want in my life. I get caught up in the liars and the excuses and I keep thinking with every part of my heart that they think of me and respect me as much as I think of them and respect them. As though every guy loves the way I love.
I've learned to realize that the key to knowing a good love is whether or not you are still connected with God. Because if you are still connected with God, He will let you know. My friends give me a hard time because I will be so invested in a guy one day and single the next. Or a guy will ask me out and I'll say "no." Because I've been listening to God, and I know what He wants in my life. He knows what I want in my life. But without Him, I'll never be happy.
It's not a curse, it's a blessing. I am single because I've listened to God and haven't fallen for the traps of a lover I'm not meant to love. And that's alright by me.
