I think the title to this one really says it all. Why do I let myself get caught up in things that will never happen? Of course, those feel-good people always tell me "believe in youself!" or "reach for your dreams!" But does anyone ever tell you how far you will be reaching? Or do they ever talk about if those dreams you are reaching for are worth it? No. They never do.
I wish there was such a thing as rehab for lost lovers, because I know I need it. I need someone to say "enough is enough. you don't need this!" and lock me in a room in a "douche bag detox" type scenario. That might be the only option I have left to burn into my mind how messed up I'm letting things get.
Why do I consistently hold on to things I know I don't need? Someone sat down with me yesterday to ask me the same question. In fact, they did compare me to a drug addict. It was like I knew it was wrong, but I was too far gone to go back to any sort of normality I could possibly latch on to.
I'm one of those girls who laughs at other girls who say "oh, he'll change for me! I know it!" and yet, at the same time, I'm one of those girls. Maybe I believe too much in the good of some people where I ignore all those bad things until I get myself in to situations I don't want to be in. I always think, "he won't do that to me. I'm different. He's different."
So please, if there is such a thing as "douche bag detox" send me the number. Sign me up. I need it.
