Once again, the fact that I'm a senior is not just slapping me in the face, it is full-on punching me out.
I have been spending time mailing out graduation invites to my friends and family and finishing senior year things (finalizing college plans, participating in awards day, getting replace as a student council officer in the swearing in ceremony, which by the way made me feel really old). It's really becoming official. In exactly 18 days, I will be an alumnus from Lutheran High School. Crazy to think that in 18 days, it'll all be over.
Once again, I feel the need to rant about what going on entails. After all is said and done on May 18th, I have my future left. What does this really mean? Where do I go? What will I do?
It has not become any easier to answer these questions as the time approaches more and more, like I hoped it would be. In fact, the thought of moving on gets harder and harder, as I realizes all I will be leaving. For one, I will be leaving my friends behind, the hardest thing I think I've had to overcome so far. I feel comfortable talking to them about anything. In fact, the other day we set in stone that if we HAD to be cremated, we would want our ashes spread in very specific ways by certain people in certain places and we made a pact to fulfill these wishes. And, after this conversation, we all realized none of us REALLY wanted to be cremated after all.
Next year, will I find people to have these kind of conversations with? And if so, will that make the memories I have now with my friends less meaningful, knowing that what we deem to be special now can also be found in other people. How will this distort my memories? Or will I even remember?
I know that ten years from now, my friends will be successful, because I know they are all pursuing what they truly love. Should my friends ever read this, there is one thing I want them to remember from my little rants: no matter where you go in life or what you do, be happy. Be just as happy as you were when we would sit for hours talking about nothing really important. Be just as happy as you were when you first fell in love or first learned to ride a bike. I know it sounds corny, but growing up doesn't mean growing away from that little piece of our souls that finds happiness in simplicity. I want you to be happy.
Of course, if you ever need to verify your plans post-cremation or talk about boys or life, remember that I'll still be here to talk things through with you. Remember, I'll still be here. Even though we're moving away, I refuse to let us grow apart. I refuse. Simple as that.
So, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to spread your ashes, I've got your back. After all, what are friends for? :)
"When I think back on these times and the dreams we left behind, I'll be glad. I was blessed to get to have you in my life. When I look back on these days, I'll look and see your face. You were right there for me. In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky. In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life. I'll keep a part of you with me. Everywhere I am, there you'll be..
Well you showed me how it feels to feel the sky within my reach. And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me. Your love made me make it through. Oh, I owe so much to you. You were right there for me...
Because I always saw in you. My light, my strength. And I want to thank you now for all the ways you were right there for me..." -There You'll Be by Faith Hill
