Just when I had gotten done saying that I'm letting my guard down, because not all guys are alike, he does the same thing with my heart that made me build those walls in the first place.
I HATE being told by a guy that they are still "keeping their options open." I suppose this goes back to my confidence issues. I don't like feeling like I could be a possibility, but there are other girls who are you feel could easily replace me. That's not what I want in a relationship. I don't know any girls who want that in a relationship. So, I'm refusing to let a relationship grow from this.
I don't want to be in a situation where I'm constantly afraid of being replaced or that he'll go mess around with a girl because, hey, he's keeping his options open. I've been there. I've been replaced. I've been the one who wasn't as good as the next thing to walk by, and then he's gone. I don't want my heart messed with like that. I can't handle having my heart messed with like that ever.
Even if after "looking at all the options," I was the one he wanted, I wouldn't do it. Because, what if a better option comes along later on? I never want to experience that again.
I'm starting fresh. The boys in my life right now aren't the type of guys I want to fall in love with forever. When college comes around, it'll be a fresh start. But for now, I am content, and safe, being single.
"Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day. Just walk away. There's no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through...I've never been anywhere cold as you."
