I need to stop believing. Something I'm learning more about as time goes on. It seems like the more I believe in the people I meet, the more I think they can change, the more they prove me wrong.
I try to think that someone is truly special and really great to be around, and for me, and then they do something totally stupid to prove me wrong. But, I give second and third and fourth and fifth chances in the hopes that maybe this time things will change. Maybe this time I can actually have something trust-worthy to believe in. But then I'm proven wrong.
I have been taking advice from friends over the last couple of days on what to do about this situation in my life. I feel bad for the guys, YES MULTIPLE STUPID DECISIONS, but I need to stop expecting things to change. Granted, it is possible for men to finally grow up, but they sure do know how to stack the cards against themselves on making others believe that.
As one of my friends said, when they make these dumb decisions, would I want to have them meet my family? Even if it was in the past? Of course, the answer is no, although I do truly, truly love them, but then I still give them another chance to make me change my mind.
I need to stop. That doesn't mean I will stop being their friends, although for one it is very questionable, but I will stop expecting them to be anything different. I will stop expecting them to be great assets to my life when they've proven time and time again they aren't.
I know it's confusing. How could I want to be friends with them without giving them other chances and without expecting anything from them? To be honest, I don't know myself. All I know is I don't want to cut them from my life because of dumb decisions, but I don't want to make them a priority and put all my trust in them when they don't deserve it.
For now, I'll just confide in my group of "Dr. Phil-s" for support. I'm too confused to figure it out myself.
