"Your love life is exactly what you make it." This quote has been ringing through my skull for the last couple of days.
With guy friends like mine, it's hard to believe that guys could truly love a respect a girl. Granted, these guys have serious heart, but when they think they are free to talk the words that come out of their mouths make me sick...and insecure. One of my guy friends talks about his latest "conquests" nearly every day. Another, how he would prefer a girl to look and "moves" she should use.
How do I compete with that? I wake up every morning to plaster on makeup and fix my hair exactly how they'd like a girl to look, and to be honest, lately I don't understand why.
I sit, listening to their testosterone driven rants every single day, and then I begin to think about myself. I start despising men and the ways they think. I start despising the way I look in the mirror. I just destroy my love life and my view of myself.
I had to read a book for religion class called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I recommend this to anyone struggling with these same issues. One of my favorite quotes from it is "look in the mirror and like what you see. then, try to like it with someone else in the picture. If you can't, you aren't meant to love them...God will lead you to who you are meant to love, you just have to give Him ALL the keys to your life."
So for now, I am handing over every key and hoping God helps me make the right decision. The scary thing is, I think I have found someone special in my life. But this time, I'm letting God let me know...
"Don't forget who's taking you home, and in whose arms you're going to be. So darling, save the last dance for me."
