All of senior year I have sat talking about the future about how exciting it was and how it needs to hurry up! Then, reality hit a cord. In 21 days, everything will be over.
Now, I have to begin choosing my words semi-carefully... I have waited around for 3 years for the same person. Constantly. One guy. Then, in one swift movement, everything I wanted was taken. It wasn't going to happen ever, simple as that. And maybe, a lot of it was I no longer wanted it. I was no longer willing to sit around and wait for him to make up his mind for the last time, like I had for 3 years. I was over it. I was tired of just sitting around until things fell in to place for him. I didn't like those constant mind games I was put through. The phone calls at 3am just because he was thinking of me, and those little things he'd say that made my heart race, followed by "I have a new gf. You'd really love her." Eternal. Friend mode.
And just when I couldn't take it anymore and I gave up, it seemed like finally I was in the right place at the right time. No, not the same guy, I'm waaaayyyyy over that. But just as my heart had been stomped on for the last time, the right person was there to pick up the pieces. Just when I was feeling like a piece of crap, he held me tight and told me that I was a gem. That I didn't deserve all the hell I've been put through and that he resents any guy who could make me feel so low.
For now, the story sort of rests there. It took a very important, and special moment for me to see how much he truly means to me and how special of a place he holds in my heart. This guy really keeps my heart beating... Now I have 21 days left before we go our separate ways. This time, I won't sit around and wait for any guy. For once, things are going to happen on my terms.
"When the rain is falling and there’s no silver lining; you just can’t seem to find the light. When you need a reason to help you keep believing, let my love be your blue sky..."
